


S15: Broken

by Piper_Halliwell1979



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying Castiel (Supernatural), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, First Time, Frottage, M/M, Making Out, Non-Penetrative Sex, Pillow Talk, Season/Series 15 Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 07:03:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20421902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piper_Halliwell1979/pseuds/Piper_Halliwell1979
Summary: Castiel reflects on something Dean told him in the past and it leads to walls finally coming down





	S15: Broken

Sam left the map table after only two tumblers of whiskey. The tension between his brother and their best friend was palpable. It had been weeks since the fallout over Jack and Mary’s deaths and they still avoided each other except for work. Now that the latest job was done they were sitting in silence. Sam just shook his head and walked away. He was tired of mediating. Those assholes would have to figure it out for themselves.

Dean kept his gaze solidly on the table as he sipped his drink. Castiel was a couple seats down to his left and was swirling what was left in his glass. “Remember when you once told me that nobody cared that I’m broken?”

“You gonna start replaying all my greatest hits?” Dean responded without looking up.

“No. Just...it’s kept me going. The world didn’t stop. The monsters keep coming and we still have a job to do. There wasn’t any time to be...broken.”

Dean grunted in acknowledgement. He finished off his liquor and pushed the glass away. He still couldn’t meet the angel’s eyes.

“I think it’s time. I need to be broken. I need to...need to grieve the losses before I go on. I don’t think I can continue if I don’t.”

Dean smirked mirthlessly. “Gonna take a little vacay? Go commune with the bees and feel your feels? Well that’s just great, Cas. You do that. Meanwhile I don’t get to leave my notice with the hell your old man unleashed.”

Castiel growled and cast his glass against the wall. “I lost everything! Don’t you get that? I lost the only mother I ever knew. I lost my child. I lost...I lost the last shred of faith I was clinging to and I deserve to lose my shit! You do too! So does Sam!”

“Fuck you! OUR son killed MY mom! Then Chuck pulled all my strings to get me to put Jack down. And the sonofabitch killed Jack anyway! But I don’t get to quit. I gotta suck it up and figure out how to put the shit back in the horse. So you...you do what you gotta do. Leave again. I’m getting used to it.” Dean sounded deflated.

He expected Cas to stare him down for a few moments before storming out. What he didn’t...was for Cas to become so small and fragile and  _ human. _ He was already down to his dress shirt and loosened tie. Now he was hunched over the map table with his face in his hands and his shoulders shaking with his heavy sobs. Dean had seen Cas shed a few silent tears over the years but nothing like this.

“I don’t want to leave, Dean. I want...I want to be going through all this  _ with _ you. I need…” Castiel couldn’t continue. His chest ached so badly. Human emotions weren’t meant for him and could overwhelm him. He’d never really cried before. It was both painful and therapeutic.

“Hey...hey...come ‘ere,” Dean went to him. His anger was overshadowed with concern. He knelt by Castiel’s chair and wrapped his arms around him. “I don’t want you to leave either. I just can’t…” his own single tear fell. “I can’t let myself go there or I ain’t coming back.”

Cas lifted his head and looked into Dean’s eyes. They held the same fear and pain as his own. “Please…” he wasn’t sure of what he was pleading for until he felt Dean’s lips pressed against his. It was soft and comforting. He started to relax and calm his erratic breathing. This time he looked up and saw a kind of hopefulness in Dean’s eyes. He leaned in to kiss him back with clear intent. 

Somewhere it deepened and they pulled at each other in desperation to be closer. Dean straddled Cas’ lap. “Cas...you sure you want this?” He broke away to ask. 

“Don’t ask stupid questions.” Cas latched onto Dean’s neck and sucked while he lifted him up and onto the lit table. He hovered over the hunter and continued tasting his salty skin. Dean moaned and tried to pull his weight down.

“Need you…”

Castiel stopped. “I will not be a one night stand you dismiss tomorrow.”

“Cas...no. No, I...I know there’s no going back from this. I’m letting myself...go there. I’m letting that wall break.” His voice was shaky but sincere. “Please?”

Castiel lowered again and captured his lips. The heat of the moment dissipated to leave them with tender and raw emotions. Dean’s fingers plucked the remaining buttons of his shirt free to run his hands over the angel’s chest. He didn’t hesitate to take him all in and appreciate the thick and fit man above him. He didn’t resist Castiel pulling his own shirts off. Deft fingers traced over his tattoo and scars to send chills through him.

“I rebuilt this body atom by atom. This is the first time you’ve let me truly marvel at its beauty.” 

Dean’s skin blushed. “I’m a sure thing, here. Don’t have to get all sappy on me.”

“It’s not  _ sappy _ . I’m appreciating you.” He kissed down Dean’s chest. “But this setting isn’t conducive to...full appreciation.”

Dean’s eyes widened. “Uhh...I don’t think I’m ready for the... _ full _ part. You know just..other stuff that feels good.”

Castiel nodded with understanding. He ran his arms up under Dean's back to lift and carry him to Dean's bedroom. Dean wrapped his arms and legs around him tightly and sought his lips several times more. He'd forgotten just how strong Cas was and kind of liked the manhandling.

As soon as the bedroom door was closed and locked Dean felt his back pressed against it. He was kicking his shoes away and trying to grind himself on Cas. The heat and passion kept building with each moan and growl. Dean already had a slight burn on his face and neck from Cas' stubble.

"Cas...been awhile, man. Show's gonna be over before we get to the final act here."

"You're experiencing too much pleasure?" The angel smirked.

"Well...yeah! At least take my pants off. It's embarrassing to cream your jeans at my age."

With a speed and finesse only an angel could pull off, Dean found himself naked and pinned on his own bed. Cas was hot and hard and fuck was he thick all over. Dean instinctively thrust up to get some friction for his throbbing cock. He moaned loud enough for Cas to kiss him to muffle the sound.

“I appreciate all the pretty noises you’re making for me but I don’t think Sam would.”

“D-don’t bring him up when my dick’s out, angel.”

“Understood,” Cas smirked and rolled his hips. “Like this?”

“Like this very much. This...can we keep doing this?”

Cas responded with more aggressive rutting. Soon Dean was scratching his back and shoulders and gasping as he bucked to meet him. Castiel locked eyes with him and saw the desperation behind them. Dean was begging him for release. He rolled them to their sides and held Dean close as he took them both in one firm hand. He kissed Dean deeply while he stroked and let his own climax peak once Dean spent himself between them. He hadn’t had an orgasm in years and it hit him forcefully.

“Dean…”

“Yeah. That was...wow.” Dean panted to catch his breath. “We waited years to do that? Fuck, we’re stupid.”

“Worth it. I think I understand the term ‘sexual tension’ much better.”

Dean chuckled. “Feel better?”

“Definitely better. You glad you...broke with me.”

“That wall needed an angel sized wrecking ball. I never should have shut you out. You were right. We’re both going through all this heavy emotional shit and we should be helping each other, talking, crying, whatever...together.”

Castiel used a touch of grace to clean them up. He pulled Dean onto his chest and absently played with his mussed hair. “Are we...together?”

Dean actually snuggled into the embrace. “Yeah? You said you won’t be a one night stand. I can’t promise you roses and romance but if you’re sure I’m your guy then...I’m your guy.”

“I want to hear you do the same, to choose me.”

Dean propped himself up a little to look into Cas’ eyes. “I want you, Cas. not just to keep my bed warm, not just to kick ass in a fight. I want  _ you _ as my best friend, my person, my...guy. I’m gonna fuck up. I’m gonna piss you off. And you’re gonna do the same. So call me out like you did tonight. Remind me that we’re  _ us _ . Please.”

Cas smiled and pulled him into a tender kiss. “That’s all I’ve wanted.”

“Cas? It’s okay to be broken at the same time?”

“Sometimes you have to break to heal properly. We’ll put each other back together. And we’ll be strong enough to support Sam so he can break, too."

Dean nestled back down. "Stop being right."

"With age comes wisdom and I am extremely old," Cas countered.

"Yeah...yeah...you got yourself a good looking younger man," Dean yawned. "Dammit. Sex makes me sleepy. You staying?"

"Of course, Dean. I'd like to hold you. Tonight and every night. Be the one true safe place for you."

"You always were."


End file.
